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There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making gang member steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the gang member says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab that I had to take home. I found a note my wife left on the table that said she is divorceing me. Then, my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, you know, kill myself, so I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and I sit here watching the arsenic dissolve. Then some jerk shows up and drinks the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"
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