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- Life is sexually transmitted.
- Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
- Some people are like a slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
- In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and
millions of cows in America, but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe
we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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