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Democrat Platform for 2020
- Fred Stevens, a welder, and Joe Frisco, a bartender, neither of whom went to college, will have to pay off the student loans for Eric, an Art History major, and Emma, a Gender Studies major, because they cannot get jobs. (Elizabeth Warren)
- Yusef Hussein, who killed 23 children by bombing their school, will be allowed to vote from prison. (Bernie Sanders)
- Grace Thompson, who worked hard for 47 years, must give up her employer furnished medical plan and join the National Health plan. (The whole slate)
- La'Darius Washington, who has never had a regular job, will receive a monthly income from the federal government to spend as he pleases. (Amy Klobuchar)
- Billy White, age 16, who has trouble with subject/verb agreement in English class, still has trouble with fractions in math class, and who thinks Judge Judy is on the Supreme Court, will get to vote. (Kirsten Gillibrand)
- Stan Billings, an avid deer hunter, will have his semi-automatic rifle (fires one shot each time you pull the trigger) taken away, or go to jail, because it looks like an AR 15. (Eric Swalwell)
- Sven Johannson, whose grandfather immigrated to the US in 1953, will have to pay reparations to Sha'lyndia Jefferson because she THINKS her great-great-great grandfather MIGHT HAVE BEEN a slave. (Cory Booker)
- Thomas Finch, who is an ambitious and motivated adult, cannot get a job because he doesn't want to join a labor union. (Kamala Harris)
- Sammy Thomas, a farmer, will no longer be able to haul his crops to market in his 3/4 ton diesel pick-up, but will have to make 43 trips in his Toyota Prius. (The whole slate)
- The population of the US will become 76.4% Hispanic because all of the existing border wall will be torn down. (Beto O'Rourke)
- NONE OF THIS WILL MATTER BECAUSE THE WORLD IS GOING TO END IN TWELVE YEARS. ( Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez)
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