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Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, i realized that at my age i don't really give a rat's a-- anymore.
If walking is good for your health,the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. and they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.
Now that i'm older, here's what i've discovered:
- I started out with nothing, and i still have most of it.
- My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
- Funny, i don't remember being absent-minded.
- Funny, i don't remember being absent-minded.
- If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
- It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.
- Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
- I wish the buck really did stop here, i sure could use a few of them.
- Kids in the backseat cause accidents.
- Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
- It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere
- The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
- If god wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
- When i'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
- It is not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
- These days, i spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
- I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what i'm "here after".
- Funny, i don't remember being absent-minded.
- It is a lot better to be seen than viewed
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