Crisco Sweating Michael Moore
On Monday, Americans learned that the box office premiere of American Sniper, a movie about the life of Navy SEAL Chris Kyle, shattered all box office records bringing in $90.2 million. By the end of the holiday weekend, the movie was expected to have a grand total of $105 million. Progressive filmmaker Michael Moore used this moment as a time to go on the attack against snipers with his tweet calling them cowards.
This was seen as not only an insult to the legacy of Navy SEAL Chris Kyle, credited with being the deadliest sniper in U.S. military history, but also an insult to all American military snipers and all who put on the uniform in service to our country.
Green Beret sniper Bryan Sikes took some time to pen a letter to Moore that absolutely destroyed him in an incredibly hilarious and fabulous way.
Mr. Moore-Good afternoon there sweetheart, I hope this finds you alive and well. You can thank our men and women of the armed forces for that, by the way, and that also includes us cowardly snipers. It seems you’ve found time between licking the jelly off your fingers and releasing your grasp of a bear claw to tweet some junk about snipers being cowards.
My buddies and I got a good laugh over the tweet, so I thank you. For a guy worth $50 million dollars, you sure have quite a bit to bitch and cry about. I guess like a moth to flame, you too gravitate towards things that are popular and in the moment — in this case it’s snipers. Too bad for you that your attempt at being relevant via your 70+ year old family experience has failed. It has only made you look dumber than a bag of hammers. Next time you should try something more original than going after snipers for one reason or another…that was so last month.
It’s typical of “men” like you to criticize the intestinal fortitude, focus, discipline and patriotism of a sniper. It must stem from an inferiority complex or something. But hey, it’s okay cupcake. We snipers are thick skinned and the efforts of world class turds such as yourself to portray us in a negative light only makes us laugh. If you and I were in the same room, I’d throw you a smile and gently pat you on the head knowing you’re nothing more than a mouth breathing, Crisco sweating waste of space not even worthy of being in the presence of a sniper. It’s almost funny how people like you preach things like ‘acceptance’ and ‘not passing judgement’ or ‘labeling people’, but then are the first to do so when a person is in some way dissimilar from you.
So tenderfoot, I leave you with this final thought: what if you found yourself in some sort of hostage situation where you were held at knife-point by some crazed person and they were dead set on making an example of you by bleeding you out on Hollywood Blvd in front of the world, and the only way out was with the precision aimed fire of a sniper? Would you want that coward to take the shot? Because knowing how you feel about snipers such as myself and your hatred of firearms, I’d probably drop the mag, roll the bolt and go get a Jack & Coke before helping you out.
Very Respectfully,
Sikes
Sikes, who is currently a Pro-Am shooter for GA precision Team Bushnell, undoubtedly has many people who can get behind these words and appreciate him putting Michael Moore in his place in such an epic way.